I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
