He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
