yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
