That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
