Screwed.edu
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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