oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
