Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
