We're like a lot better than the average bears
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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