Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
