I hope my margaritas pass through security.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
