The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And then my night got REAL pukey
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
