i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
