I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
