Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
