I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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