I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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