your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
