Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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