508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Randomize
