Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
