Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
