Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
