Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
