We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
