oh god the rape fog is back!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
