Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
