just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
