ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
