I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So here I am, sexting at work.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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