that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
