You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
