i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
