She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
