I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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