Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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