Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i will never coherently bang her
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
