K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
