You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We left the knife in your bed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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