we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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