There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
