just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
