I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
