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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
