but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
