cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
