literally had 100 drinks last night.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
