do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
