after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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