So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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