We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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