Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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