my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
