I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I need a beard to bite.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
