tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Randomize
