It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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