margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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