We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
