in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
