I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize