Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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