her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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