They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
