I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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